
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Holy ethics part 2

Saturday, February 14, 2009
Need I say anything?
I think this photo speaks volumes don't you? And illustrates beautifully why, as Brant so eloquently put it, 'it's isn't a clown cart'. I can't even begin to understand why anyone would choose to do this to themselves. Imagine the pain. Imagine the sleep deprivation- I think it's safe to assume she never slept. There are sooo many whys? I also think the picture illustrates how the female body is NOT designed to be pushed to this limit. This picture has left me in shock. I have nothing else to say.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
It Isn't A Clown Car
Holy ethics, how about this story? As if using fertility drugs to birth to octuplets after already having had six children wasn’t controversial enough, we now learn she is a single mother… on welfare… with literally no way to pay for any of them.
How on earth was she allowed to have the embryos placed in her womb in the first place? According to the story, she used her disability money to pay for the in vitro fertilizations. Umm, what? If this is indeed the case, she should be shut off from receiving any additional state funds, immediately. If she can’t afford to take care of the kids, they should be auctioned off to the highest bidder and made indentured servants until they can pay off their debt to society. Of course, I’m kidding about that part, but there are plenty of families that desperately want to raise a child with the means to do so that cannot have children of their own that would be more than happy to adopt one of these children.
Ideally, one would rather not separate a child from its birth mother, but I haven’t been able to conjure up the slightest bit of sympathy for this woman. We know at the very least she’s unfit financially to raise her children. She very well may also be unfit mentally. Think about it, she used the system for her advantage to continue to have children when she knew she had no way to support them. She’s either a criminal or she’s insane.
I’m not opposed to multi-children families, people can have as many offspring as they like. I’m actually a huge proponent of the process of reproduction. However if you are supported by the State, your decision to continue to procreate should come with strings attached.
People supported by the State should not be allowed access to fertility drugs. If they are found making a conscious effort to do so, they should be cut off, immediately.
If you don’t want strings attached to your baby-making abilities, get a job and support yourself then get off the system’s payroll. Until then, keep the clown car in the garage until you’ve got the money to drive it.
Monday, February 9, 2009
Why is it so cute?


I'd be willing to bet that the world's smallest man/woman is the biggest draw to the Guinness book. After all, that's what we want really want to see, right?
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Rugged and Ready
Only God knows (any time someone starts a sentence this way, assume the worst) what fate befalls the wary traveler when entering a highway rest stop or gas station restroom but it’s almost always a time that leaves the discoverer with a host of perplexing questions.
Would it have been that much more difficult to flush?
How hard is it to get it in the toilet?
Does the sink handle really carry more disease than the toilet seat?
How the hell did they get THAT on the walls?
Why would George Michael and gay Republican Senators select such a filthy spot for a randy rendezvous?
On a recent road trip returning from Chicago to Nashville, I noticed a metal container in a truck stop facility selling various prophylactics including one that was declared a womb-be-damned “Rugged and Ready”, which prompted my own question,
What the hell does that even mean?
Trucks are rugged. Tools are rugged. Lumberjacks are rugged… but condoms?
Where in THE hell does one intend to put something that needs to be covered by a piece of latex marketed as “rugged?” I mean, assuming one was to use this for it's designed purpose, and in the course of doing so needed the protection afforded by a rubber deemed “rugged”, wouldn’t it prudent for the purchasing penetrator to reconsider copulation with the penetratee?
There are a many instances in life when you should reassess whether or not to get to know biblically whatever creature you have found at the bottom of a Bud Lite Tall Boy. At the very top of that list are the following two situations:
1) You are purchasing a condom in a truck stop bathroom
2) You consciously recognize your need for something “rugged” for “extra protection”
You don’t need a “rugged” condom; you need a willing participant that doesn’t make the Ebola monkey look like a Quaker’s daughter.
Just my two cents. Party on.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Is that a pigeon in your trousers or are you just glad to see me?
So you know the drill, you disembark your long flight, go through passport control, can't wait for a cup of coffee, head through customs, hand over your smuggled eggs and pull your trousers down to reveal pigeons in your tights. Wait a second, what? Monday, February 2, 2009
Different types of wonder.

Another week and more strange and wonderful news stories hit the headlines the world over.
Okay what if I give you two hints: Burmese python and alligator?
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Who made these rules?

When did the American dream start? Who made the rules that the way to happiness is a spouse, 2.2 kids, two car payments, a house in the suburbs, pilates every Tuesday and Thursday and a meaningless job? At what point did the pursuit of material possessions and signing out of life for a one size fits all existence become the American dream? I submit that the current crisis is a direct result of what the film depicts as American life starting in the 1940's after World War II. What was once seen as fitting in with the neighbors gave way to Starbucks, Super Target, McMansions, loose credit and recession. Our striving to keep up with the Joneses has made the middle class the biggest culprits in the worst financial crisis to hit the US since the Great Depression. At some point we stopped building a dynasty and opted for the comforting bosom of mediocrity and warm glow of mass produced consumer goods. To make it worse, after the war fought by the Greatest Generation we stopped living within our means. We craved it like a recovering heroin addict craves methadone. And what did the banks, credit cards companies and mortgage brokers do? They gave us what we asked for. Why? Because they had two car payments, pilates and a 2300 square foot cookie cutter box in the 'burbs to pay for too. Somewhere along the way the American dream gave way to a stifling middle class that has forsaken creating, thinking and truly living for a lifestyle on the inside cover of some ridiculous contrived magazine. So, what is the answer? Well, for me... I'm going to Paris.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
$150k for a dog, what?

Some people just have too much money!
'Help I'm trapped under my sofa'

Sunday, January 25, 2009
What happened to the auto apocalyspe?

What in the World?


We Are Doomed
If you haven’t heard, there is some “controversy” about an “Unidentified” Flying Object captured on CNN’s camera during this past week’s Inauguration ceremony. By “controversy” I literally mean that some fat, lazy 45 year old living in his mother’s basement saw it while watching the broadcast of said event as he was busy not being at work and has decided to make a conspiracy theory out of it to ramp up his YouTube hits. Of course, by “unidentified” I actually mean that it was in fact identified, however people refuse to believe it is what it is because it’s far more entertaining and totally rational in our otherwise boring and pathetic lives to believe it came from outer-freaking-space.
It’s a bird. No really, it’s a bird. It isn’t a U.F.O., it isn’t a flying saucer and it isn’t a Frisbee. It’s a bird.
That being said, one can only imagine why any beings of “higher intelligence” would ever have any interest in the happenings of planet Earth. It is not, however, difficult to understand why they wouldn’t want to stop in and say “hello.” After all, there’s no telling what a mass of stupid people will do when confronted with something they don’t understand. Of course, we know exactly what we’d do. We’d shoot them down. We’d kill them. Fire would rain down as far as the eye can see. Keanu Reeves would somehow be involved in the entire affair, offering up a perfectly-timed “whoa” as we stand in the aftermath pondering the implications of what we have just done.
My favorite part of viewing a YouTube clip is not the actual footage; rather I enjoy reading the comments left by Earth’s finest. Keep in mind these people are actually allowed to procreate and one can reasonably assume they are doing so, or, at the very least, engaging in acts with one another that can facilitate such. (How's that for fear-mongering?)
These are actual quotes (in italics), unedited and lifted directly off YouTube’s website with follow-up commentary provided by yours truly:
I think its real because it moves so fast. I think they came to watch what was a pivotal moment in earth history. They probably had a message to deliver to us
Yeah, that’s probably exactly what happened. Nothing gets the juices of a higher being going like seeing the walls of racial inequity in America torn to the ground. I love the “earth history” part. That’s classic American myopia if I've ever seen it. As if our electing a “black person” somehow changes the face of the earth. Hat’s off to you, sir. You’ve a leg up on the rest of mankind.
oh common get brain. There is no way any aircraft would be legally allowed to fly that low after 9/11. They would have scrambled fighter lets
Oh “common” get a brain? Awesome. You win.
Официальный контакт с инопланетянами состоялся, с чем вас всех и поздравляю.
What the hell is this, some made up nerd language? Pff. English or bust, amigo.
hey someone should get the full video of this .. i live in canada and as i was watching the inaug on cnn, i swear to got i seen that object hovering over the WH during a interview on cam .... if someone can get the complete coverage ... its in there. My wife, my kids and a few friends all seen it .... after seeing this vid .. we feel someone should check it out
Hey, great idea. We’re so on it. We ‘seen’ it too, yes sir, an we gon’ shoot the shit outta it if it come roun' these here parts again, rest assure.
And so concludes this week’s example as to why we are all totally and completely doomed. As always, it’s been real.
-B
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Because I Said So
It hasn't all been champagne following the campaign. He’s also drawn criticism from both sides of the party line. Which is not to say that is in and of itself a bad thing; often times what is right is not always supported by popular opinion. Unfortunately, the a pair of recent gaffes go against the very platform upon which he ran.
Except for This Guy, I'm Totally Serious
If I was a registered lobbyist within the 2 years before the
date of my appointment, in addition to abiding by the limitations of paragraph
2, I will not for a period of 2 years after the date of my appointment(a) participate in any particular matter on which I lobbied
within the 2 years before the date of my appointment;(b) participate in the specific issue area in which that
particular matter falls; or(c) seek or accept employment with any executive agency
that I lobbied within the 2 years
before the date of my appointment.
According to the AP, Lynn won’t be required to step back from all his decision making duties, but he has elected to sell his stock (essentially his personal stake in the company) and for one year will be subject to an ethics review (no word on who exactly will be conducting said reviews, though if it involves other politicians, that’s about as comforting as Winona Ryder working 'loss prevention' at a high-end department store).
He very well may be qualified for his appointed position. With a resume that includes time served in the Clinton administration and work done all across Pentagon, his understanding could truly be an asset. My question is simply, is there no one else that satisfies the criteria that president just laid out that can fulfill this role?
People are going to over-analyze every move Obama makes, detractors are waiting to prey on every misstep and mistake. This is not an effort to do so. I am merely pointing out that it seems fruitless to make an executive order then offer a waiver to get a guy through that doesn’t fit the qualifications that you just outlined earlier that week.
The majority agree the United States is facing an economic crisis. Not everyone agrees, however, on which policies will best-serve the country on the road to recovery. Everyone knew getting the economy steered back on track was going to be a substantial undertaking and Obama’s pledged commitment to work across the aisle was refreshing. In November of 2008, Obama stated,
Yesterday, during a meeting about his plan to jump start the economy (I will analyze, breakdown, and editorialize said plan in another post), he offered Rep Eric Cantor (R-Va) the following explanation when questioned about the efficacy of his plan,
Really?
You’re the President of the United States, the Leader of the Free World. Don't you think you could come up with a better response than “I won?”
Not everyone agrees with the president's plan. These perspectives should at least be heard, discussed, and considered.
According to the New York Post, White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs responded to those who could call the meeting 'window dressing' by saying,
“The President is certainly going to listen to any ideas”
As he stated himself, Americans don’t want more of the same and they certainly deserve better than "because I said so."
"Drunken N face" cookies at a NYC bakery

Of course, how else? Bake a terribly racist cake and sell it to customers with the catchy sales pitch "Would you like a Drunken Negro face cookie with your coffee?"
What is the world coming to? When this idiotic loathsome act is deemed acceptable, in a bakery of all places.
Since talking to a Fox News reporter the, Greenwich Village baker, has apologised and asked for forgiveness in the "spirit of Martin Luther King".
The apology only came after he was inundated with hate phone calls and customer condemnation. I'd like to know what he expected?
Did he think, in Greenwich Village of all places, that people would embrace this type of openly racist hatred and not blink an eye. What an idiot? Personally I don't have much sympathy for someone who is that socially inept. If it is even ineptness? When interviewed the first time, he was unbashful and went so far as to defend his baking in the name of 'freedom of speech'.
Sadly this form of pure hatred will always be around. It was heartening though, to see his local community, who had once embraced him, shun him. A good example of how 'social shaming' is effective. What a lesson he may learn if he ends up having to shut.
