Who made these rules?

Sam Mendes' gripping and emotional film based on the Richard Yates novel of the same name "Revolutionary Road" very well may have been slighted at the Oscars. It may well also prove to be an invaluable social commentary on the rise and fall of the American dream. The film centers around the relationship of two thirty somethings living in the suburbs of New York and melting into the beige landscape of the middle class. Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet reignite their "Titanic" flames to play a middle manager and a failed actress turned housewife desperately wanting to escape the doldrums of suburban life. As the two age and become parents they are constantly left asking the questions of how did they get to be miserable and how do they get out. To cope the pair simply float through their existence with an air of superiority. They see themselves as bright, talented and destined for more. A far cry from their neighbors who have sold out to the idea that a house, kids and a pointless job via a long commute is what responsible adults do. The couple hatch a plan to move their family to Paris to re stoke the life fire that seems to be all but smothered in their lives. At one point, Frank (DiCaprio) laments "people are alive there like no where else". As Mr. Murphy's Law works its way into their lives they are left to decide to do the culturally responsible thing and stay where they are, thus stay miserable or commit to the socially irresponsible and go to Paris. Aside from the other modern social tones of adultery and gender roles addressed in the film, there seems to be one inescapable point. Who made these rules? Are these distinctly American rules of middle class bliss to blame for the current economic crisis now spreading across the globe like a financial bubonic plague.

When did the American dream start? Who made the rules that the way to happiness is a spouse, 2.2 kids, two car payments, a house in the suburbs, pilates every Tuesday and Thursday and a meaningless job? At what point did the pursuit of material possessions and signing out of life for a one size fits all existence become the American dream? I submit that the current crisis is a direct result of what the film depicts as American life starting in the 1940's after World War II. What was once seen as fitting in with the neighbors gave way to Starbucks, Super Target, McMansions, loose credit and recession. Our striving to keep up with the Joneses has made the middle class the biggest culprits in the worst financial crisis to hit the US since the Great Depression. At some point we stopped building a dynasty and opted for the comforting bosom of mediocrity and warm glow of mass produced consumer goods. To make it worse, after the war fought by the Greatest Generation we stopped living within our means. We craved it like a recovering heroin addict craves methadone. And what did the banks, credit cards companies and mortgage brokers do? They gave us what we asked for. Why? Because they had two car payments, pilates and a 2300 square foot cookie cutter box in the 'burbs to pay for too. Somewhere along the way the American dream gave way to a stifling middle class that has forsaken creating, thinking and truly living for a lifestyle on the inside cover of some ridiculous contrived magazine. So, what is the answer? Well, for me... I'm going to Paris.

$150k for a dog, what?

Some people just have too much money!

I'm guessing this story will incense at least a few of you, as it did me.

A couple in the states just received a long awaited package- their $150k cloned new yellow labrador pup, Lanzy. The three month old Lanzy is a clone of Sir Lancelot, the couple's original beloved pet who died last year. Unlike the rest of normal society who mourn lost pets, this couple opted to simply replace like for like, all in the name of: "having life with the same dog," they said.

While we are all coping with this impending credit crunch/depression (whatever), some people are spending that amount of money on this. Is it just me or is this beyond belief? We haven't even touched on the ethics question. That's a whole other discussion. The scientist involved in this project told reporters: "People think this is a stepping stone to cloning people, but dogs are harder to clone than people." How vague is that? Is he suggesting for $100k I can clone my grandmother?

Some people just have too much money to know what to do with. It's sickening really. But it's their money to do with what they want I guess right?

'Help I'm trapped under my sofa'

Imagine getting trapped under your sofa.

What a rotten week for a 65 year old English man after he was trapped under his for 60 hours. The pensioner said he lost his bearings during a power cut and fell against his three-seater which then toppled onto him.

Due to back problems, he was unable to free his 19 stone frame and consequently he was stuck for nearly three days.

His only saviour was a lonesome bottle of whiskey which rolled his way, providing the vital fluids he needed.

What a poor guy. I ask you, of all the household accidents or hazards we are warned of, a sofa? Really? Clearly it's a possible deadly adversary. Lets just be thankful this man lived through the ordeal and can go back to sitting on, rather under, his.

What happened to the auto apocalyspe?

Good news for the once thought to be dying auto industry. Chrysler LLC V.P. Jim Press said Saturday the 24th that he expects Chrysler to be "viable" by this spring. When pressed (zing) for his definition of what being viable actually meant, Mr.Press offered up what amounted to good wishes by saying this staving off of disaster will be accomplished by "remaining solvent and continuing to invest in new products, with an ability in the future to repay government loans." Okay. Well, kudos to Chrysler for launching such an audacious and vague reconstruction plan. Perhaps the thousands of small businesses facing extinction can use this forward looking plan to remain solvent themselves. I see no reason why a company that has received $4 billion in federal loans should actually have a specific plan. Perhaps I would feel better if Chrysler just came out and said "Look everyone, Floyd in marketing went over to the mall and got a Magic 8 Ball and our viability by Spring 2009 is well, decidedly so!"

I think the main question I have is not so much when US taxpayers will get their $4B back, but rather what happened to the car business apocalypse that was impending just 45 days ago? Wasn't Chrysler and the rest of the Detroit brain trust begging for help and promising complete restructuring that would take years to accomplish? Now, financial viability is only months away? As the snow melts and the flowers bloom Chrysler will reach where they were light years away from six weeks ago. Viability! Perhaps they have been Barracked into action! Surely that can be the answer? Perhaps the Detroit business models simply follow the leadership style of the current Commander In Chief. In 2008 the Chrysler business model was just plain old apathy mirroring the leadership of George Bush. Now, perhaps born anew in 2009 Chrysler looks to President Obama and sees all things possible. Maybe they misjudged how bad of shape they were really in. Hey, it can happen. Enron did it! Or, maybe we're being put together like a Dodge salesman promising his Texas blue collar customer that "9.9% is a good rate", "you do need the extended warranty" and don't worry you can trade it in a year because "these trucks really hold their value".

What in the World?

In this, my weekly 'World news round up', I will give a snippet of my favourite news stories to hit the headlines this week.

Firstly, I think we definitely need to give Brant a hand clap for his little gem of a find- 'Inauguration attack from Mars'- or as the 2010 movie is to be entitled 'Close encounter on his first day in office'. Conspiracy theories rock! Especially those involving little green men. Why no-one mentioned the threat from outer space before the celebrations on Tuesday, is beyond me. And they call themselves Secret Service! 

Anywhoo moving on to another Obamamania story which caught my eye this week. 

As is to be expected, the new President's image is now splashed on everything under the sun, from toilet tissue to classy running shoes, his image is available emblazoned on anything. I pose the question, should there be a limit? Take then the news that a toy company has released two cute little dolls named Sasha and Malia. (above) How silly I am in thinking the names and the dolls bear a resemblance to the President's children.. Silly me, as the company making the dolls has denied there is any Obama connection. So rest assured they aren't trying to simply profit off the First Children-hmm what do you think? I have my opinions firmly set, but I'll let Michelle Obama have the last word on this, "It is inappropriate to use young, private citizens for marketing purposes". (Do give your opinions on the matter. Are they fair game?)

Moving on. Of all the public service jobs one can think of, being a postman/mailman, surely requires a certain level of trust, right? Amusingly, this isn't something I have ever really considered until I read a news story this week. When you actually do think about it, imagine the amount of private documents and bits and bobs we rely on our trusty postman to deliver safely. 

Shouldn't we be doing high level security/trust testing on these people? Why I hear you ask? Simply check out the picture above. The mail pictured, went undelivered and undiscovered for six years. Unbelievably none of the recipients raised any issue. Were they living in a bubble? Perhaps not, perhaps this sort of thing is easily done, perhaps we are subject to a world wide siphoning campaign by postmen with terrorist links. Perhaps they have been infiltrated. 

Ok getting way off track here. But it is very conceivable that in this age of identity theft mania, we need to be mindful of every avenue of possible wrong doing. Also, consider how easy it would be not to miss a few letter's here and there. 

The moral of the story has to be, question what isn't delivered by daring to step outside your bubble.  

We Are Doomed

Hopefully there are intelligent beings somewhere outside our solar system because we are clearly running an intellect deficit here on Earth.

If you haven’t heard, there is some “controversy” about an “Unidentified” Flying Object captured on CNN’s camera during this past week’s Inauguration ceremony. By “controversy” I literally mean that some fat, lazy 45 year old living in his mother’s basement saw it while watching the broadcast of said event as he was busy not being at work and has decided to make a conspiracy theory out of it to ramp up his YouTube hits. Of course, by “unidentified” I actually mean that it was in fact identified, however people refuse to believe it is what it is because it’s far more entertaining and totally rational in our otherwise boring and pathetic lives to believe it came from outer-freaking-space.

It’s a bird. No really, it’s a bird. It isn’t a U.F.O., it isn’t a flying saucer and it isn’t a Frisbee. It’s a bird.

That being said, one can only imagine why any beings of “higher intelligence” would ever have any interest in the happenings of planet Earth. It is not, however, difficult to understand why they wouldn’t want to stop in and say “hello.” After all, there’s no telling what a mass of stupid people will do when confronted with something they don’t understand. Of course, we know exactly what we’d do. We’d shoot them down. We’d kill them. Fire would rain down as far as the eye can see. Keanu Reeves would somehow be involved in the entire affair, offering up a perfectly-timed “whoa” as we stand in the aftermath pondering the implications of what we have just done.

My favorite part of viewing a YouTube clip is not the actual footage; rather I enjoy reading the comments left by Earth’s finest. Keep in mind these people are actually allowed to procreate and one can reasonably assume they are doing so, or, at the very least, engaging in acts with one another that can facilitate such. (How's that for fear-mongering?)

These are actual quotes (in italics), unedited and lifted directly off YouTube’s website with follow-up commentary provided by yours truly:

I think its real because it moves so fast. I think they came to watch what was a pivotal moment in earth history. They probably had a message to deliver to us

Yeah, that’s probably exactly what happened. Nothing gets the juices of a higher being going like seeing the walls of racial inequity in America torn to the ground. I love the “earth history” part. That’s classic American myopia if I've ever seen it. As if our electing a “black person” somehow changes the face of the earth. Hat’s off to you, sir. You’ve a leg up on the rest of mankind.

oh common get brain. There is no way any aircraft would be legally allowed to fly that low after 9/11. They would have scrambled fighter lets

Oh “common” get a brain? Awesome. You win.

Официальный контакт с инопланетянами состоялся, с чем вас всех и поздравляю.

What the hell is this, some made up nerd language? Pff. English or bust, amigo.

hey someone should get the full video of this .. i live in canada and as i was watching the inaug on cnn, i swear to got i seen that object hovering over the WH during a interview on cam .... if someone can get the complete coverage ... its in there. My wife, my kids and a few friends all seen it .... after seeing this vid .. we feel someone should check it out

Hey, great idea. We’re so on it. We ‘seen’ it too, yes sir, an we gon’ shoot the shit outta it if it come roun' these here parts again, rest assure.

And so concludes this week’s example as to why we are all totally and completely doomed. As always, it’s been real.

-B

Because I Said So

What a remarkable first five days the new president has had. He took an historic oath in front of a captive world audience and an unprecedented number of fans and supporters on the Washington D.C. Mall (who were kind enough to leave behind some 130 tons of trash). He enjoyed a welcoming reception that even megastar humanitarian and professional sunglass-wearer Bono would consider extravagant.

It hasn't all been champagne following the campaign. He’s also drawn criticism from both sides of the party line. Which is not to say that is in and of itself a bad thing; often times what is right is not always supported by popular opinion. Unfortunately, the a pair of recent gaffes go against the very platform upon which he ran.


Except for This Guy, I'm Totally Serious

In my opinion, Obama made several great decisions as he assumed his new title, which seemed to be universally accepted and embraced as such across the political spectrum. One was freezing the pay of staff members in a time of recession. The second was an effort to foster transparency by halting the revolving door of lobbyists with Executive Order – Ethics Commitments by Executive Branch Personnel, which states:

If I was a registered lobbyist within the 2 years before the
date of my appointment, in addition to abiding by the limitations of paragraph
2, I will not for a period of 2 years after the date of my appointment

(a) participate in any particular matter on which I lobbied
within the 2 years before the date of my appointment;

(b) participate in the specific issue area in which that
particular matter falls; or

(c) seek or accept employment with any executive agency
that I lobbied within the 2 years
before the date of my appointment.

The latter makes the appointment of William (Bill) J. Lynn as Deputy to Defense Secretary Robert Gates a bit confusing. Lynn is a former lobbyist for military contracting heavy-hitter Raytheon who falls outside the above criteria. Obama offered a waiver on his executive order, allowing Lynn to serve in the administration.

According to the AP, Lynn won’t be required to step back from all his decision making duties, but he has elected to sell his stock (essentially his personal stake in the company) and for one year will be subject to an ethics review (no word on who exactly will be conducting said reviews, though if it involves other politicians, that’s about as comforting as Winona Ryder working 'loss prevention' at a high-end department store).

So essentially, no lobbyists unless we decide we need said lobbyist. Is that really the message the administration is trying to convey?

He very well may be qualified for his appointed position. With a resume that includes time served in the Clinton administration and work done all across Pentagon, his understanding could truly be an asset. My question is simply, is there no one else that satisfies the criteria that president just laid out that can fulfill this role?

People are going to over-analyze every move Obama makes, detractors are waiting to prey on every misstep and mistake. This is not an effort to do so. I am merely pointing out that it seems fruitless to make an executive order then offer a waiver to get a guy through that doesn’t fit the qualifications that you just outlined earlier that week.

Obama Booya

The majority agree the United States is facing an economic crisis. Not everyone agrees, however, on which policies will best-serve the country on the road to recovery. Everyone knew getting the economy steered back on track was going to be a substantial undertaking and Obama’s pledged commitment to work across the aisle was refreshing. In November of 2008, Obama stated,

“America is a strong and resilient country, and I know that we will succeed if we put aside politics and partisanship.”

Yesterday, during a meeting about his plan to jump start the economy (I will analyze, breakdown, and editorialize said plan in another post), he offered Rep Eric Cantor (R-Va) the following explanation when questioned about the efficacy of his plan,

"I won. I will trump you on that”

Really?

You’re the President of the United States, the Leader of the Free World. Don't you think you could come up with a better response than “I won?”

Not everyone agrees with the president's plan. These perspectives should at least be heard, discussed, and considered.

According to the New York Post, White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs responded to those who could call the meeting 'window dressing' by saying,

“The President is certainly going to listen to any ideas”

Well yeah, he'll hear them. Of course, whether he actually considers any of them still remains to be seen. Which isn't to say that all ideas should be considered. I mean, American history is riddled with bad ideas (look up Alexander Abian).

While I appreciate the candor in the President's statements, Americans deserve better than a brash because-I-said-so response from our leader. It would serve President Obama well in the future to show some of the bi-partisan pragmatism he championed ad nauseum in the 18 months preceding his inauguration.

As he stated himself, Americans don’t want more of the same and they certainly deserve better than "because I said so."

"Drunken N face" cookies at a NYC bakery

So this week has arguably seen one of biggest political milestones in American history. What better way to celebrate it I hear you ask?

Of course, how else? Bake a terribly racist cake and sell it to customers with the catchy sales pitch "Would you like a Drunken Negro face cookie with your coffee?"

What is the world coming to? When this idiotic loathsome act is deemed acceptable, in a bakery of all places.

Since talking to a Fox News reporter the, Greenwich Village baker, has apologised and asked for forgiveness in the "spirit of Martin Luther King".

The apology only came after he was inundated with hate phone calls and customer condemnation. I'd like to know what he expected?

Did he think, in Greenwich Village of all places, that people would embrace this type of openly racist hatred and not blink an eye. What an idiot? Personally I don't have much sympathy for someone who is that socially inept. If it is even ineptness? When interviewed the first time, he was unbashful and went so far as to defend his baking in the name of 'freedom of speech'.

Sadly this form of pure hatred will always be around. It was heartening though, to see his local community, who had once embraced him, shun him. A good example of how 'social shaming' is effective. What a lesson he may learn if he ends up having to shut.

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