Holy ethics part 2

Things surely can't get any worse? First we had octomum and lets be honest, her story was pretty low on the moral chart. Now there is a new shocker.

Aflie -as pictured- is a proud father. He is still a child himself. He is 13. Yes 13 and his blushing girlfriend is 15. Where do I start?

This is a prime example of the wearing away of Britain's moral values. Alfie was 12 and Chantelle 14 when they conceived. Really? I was playing with Barbie dolls at Emma Magee's house up until age 11. Not to mention, Alfie looks like he's eight or nine and I don't mind saying what you are all thinking. How literally did it happen? She looks a lot older. If he looks like this at 13 imagine how much younger he looked a year ago.

This story is such an embarrassment.

So you have just found out your 13 and going to be a father. What do you do next? Tell your parents of course. Yes. And what do said respectable parents do? Sell your story to the highest bidder- silly. Make a laughing stalk of your life and the biggest mistake you'll probably ever make. Although this may not turn out to be Alfie's only mistake given his obvious lack of support network.

Apparently they now have a publicist and like Miss Octomum are awaiting the pay check.

Children make mistakes and it's an easy cop-out to blame the parents. But.. In this case, they are making the whole thing worse. Alfie is not the first 13 year old father in Britain, he just has the added misfortune to have numskull scummy parent's who are happy to exploit him.

Not to mention the blushing new mother. The latest news is that several other boys have come forward saying they could be the father. Well isn't she the apple of her parent's eye.

14 and inviting all the local boys around. Now poor Alfie says he wants a paternity test. How the plot thickens. Next, we'll see the headline, 'Chantelle: 'my bleeding heart for Alfie''

Give me a break!!!!

Surely we need to look at ourselves? What is going on when children as young as 12 are having sex? Earlier I said it's the easy option to blame the parents. In this case I think we have to. Are they being told as youngsters 'have sex, have babies, get a house, go on the dole, it's easy, the gov will pay?'

In one of his many 'exclusive' Sun interviews Alfie said this weekend:

"I thought it would be good to have a baby"

"I didn't think about how we would afford it. I don't really get pocket money. My dad sometimes gives me £10"

"I didn't know what it would be like to be a dad. I will be good, though, and care for it."

I recently re-watched the film the Magdaline Sister's. If you haven't seen it, it's about the Magdaline Asylum's which existed in Ireland up until 1996. These 'asylums' were used as dumping grounds for pregnant unmarried women. Families who couldn't bare the embarrassment of pregnancies would forcibly place girls and women in these institutions. Nun's ran the asylum's as work houses. By all accounts, they were not pleasant places to be and the film at least was extremely harrowing.

The film got me thinking whilst reading this 13 year old dad story.

In forty years look how far we have come on moral issues. We have come from hiding pregnant women in asylums to flaunting 13 year old dads on newspapers. Is either better or worse? Is it not as shaming to humiliate a child like Alfie on a paper cover, as to commit a pregnant girl to an asylum? And clearly whatever we are doing to promote sex education is working as well as telling children it's a mortal sin. In fact maybe we should resort back to lying. Maybe by telling them they will burn in hell, little Alfie's might keep their trousers on. It appears we have regressed to the 60's. Things today are no better than the asylums and shaming of the 60's. We can't stop them getting pregnant and we have terrible methods of dealing with it when they do.

Need I say anything?

I think this photo speaks volumes don't you? And illustrates beautifully why, as Brant so eloquently put it, 'it's isn't a clown cart'. I can't even begin to understand why anyone would choose to do this to themselves. Imagine the pain. Imagine the sleep deprivation- I think it's safe to assume she never slept. There are sooo many whys? I also think the picture illustrates how the female body is NOT designed to be pushed to this limit. This picture has left me in shock. I have nothing else to say. 

It Isn't A Clown Car

Holy ethics, how about this story? As if using fertility drugs to birth to octuplets after already having had six children wasn’t controversial enough, we now learn she is a single mother… on welfare… with literally no way to pay for any of them.

How on earth was she allowed to have the embryos placed in her womb in the first place? According to the story, she used her disability money to pay for the in vitro fertilizations. Umm, what? If this is indeed the case, she should be shut off from receiving any additional state funds, immediately. If she can’t afford to take care of the kids, they should be auctioned off to the highest bidder and made indentured servants until they can pay off their debt to society. Of course, I’m kidding about that part, but there are plenty of families that desperately want to raise a child with the means to do so that cannot have children of their own that would be more than happy to adopt one of these children.

Ideally, one would rather not separate a child from its birth mother, but I haven’t been able to conjure up the slightest bit of sympathy for this woman. We know at the very least she’s unfit financially to raise her children. She very well may also be unfit mentally. Think about it, she used the system for her advantage to continue to have children when she knew she had no way to support them. She’s either a criminal or she’s insane.

I’m not opposed to multi-children families, people can have as many offspring as they like. I’m actually a huge proponent of the process of reproduction. However if you are supported by the State, your decision to continue to procreate should come with strings attached.

People supported by the State should not be allowed access to fertility drugs. If they are found making a conscious effort to do so, they should be cut off, immediately.

If you don’t want strings attached to your baby-making abilities, get a job and support yourself then get off the system’s payroll. Until then, keep the clown car in the garage until you’ve got the money to drive it.

Why is it so cute?

Ever thought why we gravitate to small creatures or why it is we go gaga over little people?

Standing at just 2ft 5in high, He Pingping, from China, has been officially named the smallest man in the world. In January 2007, Mr Pingping was invited to take part in a television programme in Tokyo, and has since become somewhat of an icon.

Following the death of 2ft 3in Nelson de la Rosa in 2006, a number of possible contenders came forward including Pingping for the title, and prior to the decision Channel 4 presenter Mark Dolan set out to find them.

At 6ft 5in Mark must of intimidated the little fella's, non-the less he firstly met a 16 year old boy called Khagendra Thapa Magar, who stands at only 2ft. Once of age, Magar, will be in contention for the overall world's smallest man title.

Watching Mark carry Magar in a plastic bag, (which he apparently likes to be carried in) made my cuteness barometer go through the roof and I was left asking a few questions - Why does this feel wrong? Why do we find little creatures/people so cute? Why is it that even grown men oh and ah at newborns, puppies, kittens and baby platypus?

So what causes us, even as infants, to go weak at the knees for cute and cuddly?

Well, according to leading scientists there are some basic human instincts which are key to these reactions.

Apparently it is a natural human response to find the vulnerable and innocent cute. Duhhh.

It is mother nature's way of protecting. As humans we obviously take the whole cute baby thing a lot further than naturally expected.

What then to the little people? Is it our fascination with vulnerable innocence which leads us to ohh and ahh over an adult, albeit a little one? In a way it's perverted, right? Lord knows there are whole websites devoted to Dwarf fetishes.

Although we may look with equal fascination at unusual people, small, tall, fat and thin, you never hear 'Oh how cute is that 9ft man'.

So it's back to the whole small cute thing again. I'm not convinced it's necessarily over vulnerability, but rather cuteness in proportions which turns us in a tizzy for small critters and small people. Perhaps as it's simply because babies, and infant animals are evenly proportioned, and thereby more aesthetically pleasing, that we swoon.
I'd be willing to bet that the world's smallest man/woman is the biggest draw to the Guinness book. After all, that's what we want really want to see, right?

Rugged and Ready

Pit stops are a vital component of the American road trip experience. These brief interludes provide an opportunity to stock up on snacks and beverages while relieving one’s self of the previous stop’s snacks and beverages. It’s a chance to stretch the legs while discussing the next leg of the trip. However, before the adventure resumes, the restrooms are provide another adventure unto themselves.

Only God knows (any time someone starts a sentence this way, assume the worst) what fate befalls the wary traveler when entering a highway rest stop or gas station restroom but it’s almost always a time that leaves the discoverer with a host of perplexing questions.

Would it have been that much more difficult to flush?

How hard is it to get it in the toilet?

Does the sink handle really carry more disease than the toilet seat?

How the hell did they get THAT on the walls?

Why would George Michael and gay Republican Senators select such a filthy spot for a randy rendezvous?

On a recent road trip returning from Chicago to Nashville, I noticed a metal container in a truck stop facility selling various prophylactics including one that was declared a womb-be-damned “Rugged and Ready”, which prompted my own question,

What the hell does that even mean?

Trucks are rugged. Tools are rugged. Lumberjacks are rugged… but condoms?

Where in THE hell does one intend to put something that needs to be covered by a piece of latex marketed as “rugged?” I mean, assuming one was to use this for it's designed purpose, and in the course of doing so needed the protection afforded by a rubber deemed “rugged”, wouldn’t it prudent for the purchasing penetrator to reconsider copulation with the penetratee?

There are a many instances in life when you should reassess whether or not to get to know biblically whatever creature you have found at the bottom of a Bud Lite Tall Boy. At the very top of that list are the following two situations:

1) You are purchasing a condom in a truck stop bathroom
2) You consciously recognize your need for something “rugged” for “extra protection”

You don’t need a “rugged” condom; you need a willing participant that doesn’t make the Ebola monkey look like a Quaker’s daughter.

Just my two cents. Party on.

Is that a pigeon in your trousers or are you just glad to see me?

So you know the drill, you disembark your long flight, go through passport control, can't wait for a cup of coffee, head through customs, hand over your smuggled eggs and pull your trousers down to reveal pigeons in your tights. Wait a second, what?   

Yes you read correctly, pull pigeons from your trousers. You mean all men don't normally hide birds in their trousers during flights? Pardon the a double-entendre.

It seems drugs and bombs are the least of our worries, given that a bloke was left cooing with his trousers pulled down around his ankles after customs discovered bird eggs. 

The discovery of eggs led the officers to probe a bit further and low and behold, the passenger had smuggled two unsuspecting pigeons in tights warn under trousers found half way down his legs. 

Who need worry about shoe bombs with guys like this catching flights? This story definitely deserves a 'how very strange' quip. 

Amazingly the pigeons survived the 10 hour flight, despite being tightly wrapped in paper and stuffed into envelopes with just their heads visible. 

On another note, how could we all forget the 2004 Super Bowl nipple debacle which landed broadcaster CBS with a $550,000 fine? Well Super Bowl 2009 turned out to be just as entertaining for some Arizona folks, even despite the loss. Certain lucky viewers had the football interrupted for a pornographic snippet. Said interruption showed a woman unzipping a man's trousers, followed by a 'graphic act between the two'. I'm no professional, but perhaps it's safe to assume the 'graphic act between the two', was considerably more lurid than Ms Jackson's nipple. What's to happen to the poor station who broadcast this, or the nerd who hacked the system and uploaded the image, where can we send our congrats? 

Live TV blunders are so delectable. We need more of the same. Maybe next year a streaker will make it all the way down the field. Here's hoping. 

Different types of wonder.

Another week and more strange and wonderful news stories hit the headlines the world over.

Among those which got tongues wagging on this side and across the pond was the heart-warming and uplifting story of the young Californian woman who gave birth to eight babies.

The world oohed and aahed in unison over the thought of eight identical little critters and, we all felt such compassion for the poor wee woman who was blessed with the wonderment. Yes, it's safe to say the world grabbed onto the story with both hands, yanked it to it's bosom, raised it in the air and screamed 'See not everything is doom and gloom, not every story ends with crunch'.

Alas, it appears every story does end with 'crunch', because as the news settled and nosy journalists did their jobs, all was not so rosy through those operating doors. Sadly it turns out there are a few crunches and bites to this fairytale. Crunch number one; the little lady was not in fact a barren infertile wasteland; to the contrary, she already had six children. Begging the question of course, why shoot for medical help to have children?

Crunch number two, mother octuplet, lives with her parents and her 14 children in a three bedroom house; talk about a tight squeeze.

Crunch three, she is single, unemployed and did this to herself. Leaving the world's media grasping for answers to the riddle. How and why did this happen? And who is to blame? Hopefully these and many more questions will be answered in the coming weeks, as said little lady is in a bidding war with magazines as we speak. At least she now has a form of income.

Excuse me as I slowly raise an eyebrow.

This story brings up so many moral/ethical questions. If it was the case that she received infertility treatment and that embryos were inserted, show me the doctor we can blame. Is there a governing body we can scapegoat here? Can strict rules and regulations not be put in place to safeguard other, mentally ill women from falling fowl of this form of self inflicted body torture?

Now to something completely different and a bit more lighthearted.

I want you to look at the picture and try to work out what you're looking at. Any further along?
Okay what if I give you two hints: Burmese python and alligator?

The remains of the two reptiles were found by astonished rangers in the Everglades National Park. The picture amounts to an unusual clash between a six foot alligator and a 13 foot python. The greedy python tried, but failed, to swallow the alligator whole. Rangers at the park think the gator chewed or clawed through the pythons stomach.

The python's remains were found with the victim's tail protruding from its burst midsection. The head of the python was missing.

"Encounters like this are almost never seen in the wild," Frank Mazzotti, a University of Florida wildlife professor, was quoted as saying. "They were probably evenly matched in size. If the python got a good grip on the alligator before the alligator got a grip on him, he would win," the professor said.

Mother nature never ceases to amaze.